World of Warcraft is a huge part of my life. I won’t lie. I’m more than a little addicted and play more than I should in any given week. I’ve met my share of good friends in the years I’ve been playing, quite a few of which are real life couples who enjoy playing together. I’ve watched WoW romances bloom before my eyes, sometimes quietly and sweetly, and sometimes with enough drama to make Jerry Springer drool. I’ve listened quietly while friends told me of their girlfriends/boyfriends leaving because of the game, and I’ve watched marriages fall to pieces.
Personally I’ve always considered myself lucky. My wife has played the game with me almost from day one and is very understanding of my addiction. Over the years we have gotten any number of compliments ranging from “Oh you guys are such a great couple, you seem so happy.” to “I don’t know how you make it work especially with a child.”. I can assure you, that our marriage isn’t perfect. We aren’t always happy with each other, arguments happen, and making time for WoW while balancing other aspects of our life is very difficult. We have also spent extensive time with other couples who play WoW, and after speaking with them we realized we all do the same thing to keep our marriage and lives in tact.
A couple who both enjoy playing should make an honest attempt to take time out of the game. This may sound easy, but it’s not. My wife and I are both guilty of losing track of time and spending all day playing. Take time before raids, spend it with each other and the rest of family.This will obviously leave less farming time, but trust me, it’s worth missing. Join a guild that will allow you and your significant other to play together. Playing in different guilds, even on the same server, can be a very bad idea. Don’t eat at the computer. Sitting down to dinner together is a great way to become closer and puts what is really important into perspective. Do date nights, don’t forget that you picked your significant other for a reason, enjoy each other’s company and don’t let WoW dominate the conversation (this really annoys my wife). Never bring your arguments to the game. It’s unnecessary and when you begin to play you may find that your troubles will simply melt away. Be ready to quit. Yes, that’s right. If playing WoW causes to many issues, you need to give it up. Never, ever let a game become more important than those you care about in real life.
For couples with only one person who enjoys playing, it’s even more complicated as the person who does not play can feel left out and abandoned, especially if they themselves can not understand the draw of a video game. There are forum groups and sites set up just for “WoW Widows” that show the extent of the problem. I’ve watched a few marriages/relationships break up directly or indirectly because of a WoW addiction, sometimes at the fault of the player, but not always. In times past, I’ve even played with a fellow who’s wife would stand behind him while he raided to be sure that he didn’t speak with any of the women in the guild because she was convinced that they were all out to steal her husband. Needless to say, the marriage didn’t work out.
In one of my previous guilds I had the pleasure of watching two of my very good friends fall into gaming love. One had just come out of a divorce, and the other had never been married. But after spending over a year and a half together, it was undeniable that they had something together. They decided to meet, sparks flew and he moved across the country to be with her. They beat the odds and the critics, and while they no longer play WoW, they are still very much in love and I believe there are baby talks in the works.
Now before we all drown in mushy gushy gunk there is also a darker side to World of Warcraft relationships. There are some who play who use love and other temptations for their own personal gain, and of course those who think what they have is real only to fall apart once real life problems have to be dealt with.
For example I’ve played witness to a certain someone who in turn seduced at least four of my guild members. These guild members were head over heels for this person and honestly believed that she was meant to be with them, and they lavished this person with gifts upon her request. They completely ignored the fact that she was already married, and her husband was even part of the guild. Once she had what she wanted from each of these people (special mounts, gold, etc), she would dump them and leave them brokenhearted and confused. The drama that was caused by all of this was part of the guild’s downfall.
The lesson from this story? . If you know the person you care about is married, just say no unless they become single again. If they are single, no one who really cares about you will expect fancy items to keep them happy.If the person you are interested in demands items in exchange for their commitment, run away without looking back. And finally if your sweety seems to be getting close and personal with other guild members, you may want to give it more than passing thought.
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