Relationships That Will Never Work
Debunking Myths About Relationships With Men
It is part of the experience of being human that we make mistakes in life. To “err” is human, and if we didn’t make these mistakes we would never learn anything.
Making mistakes becomes a serious issue, when you make a decision or take an action, armed with the wrong information. There is no way of knowing that you have made an error….until disaster strikes!
Whilst making mistakes in life is good for expanding our minds, wouldn’t prefer to avoid making certain mistake is if you could? Particularly mistakes that cause a lot of pain…. like in relationships with men!
It is possible to prevent making mistakes in your relationships with men. But in order to do so, you must rid your mind of the myths about men.
It often requires somebody else to help you identify your own mindsets that are causing you to make common mistakes in your relationships. For example, if you experience men in your life constantly acting distant, yet no matter how hard you try to fix the situation, he seems to pull further and further away. Then there is something going on that you can’t see, but maybe somebody else can.
Honestly ask yourself…. how many times have you made a bad decision in a relationship, because you had the wrong information about the him at the time?
Holding the wrong beliefs and perceptions about men can prohibit you form having the loving relationship that you desire. If you make incorrect assumptions about men, it absolutely will prevent you from having a healthy relationship.
So now we have laid the foundation, lets take a look at two common myths women believe about men.
1. Men Only Want Women Who Are Low Maintenance:
Whilst it is true that most men do not want a highly strung woman. Even most woman don’t enjoy them either. The problem lies in what women consider to be low maintenance.
Many women perceive low maintenance as being submissive to a man. In other words, they assume to be low maintenance, they shouldn’t really have a differing opinion.
People mistakenly think low maintenance means not speaking up over fears of destroying the relationship. This is a horrible situation, as it effectively causes a woman to lose her ability to express her emotions.
Being low maintenance means not loosing your cool at the occasional offhand remark that a man makes. It means not being overwhelmed with emotions and flying off the handle over nothing.
It means not being needy, and more like a cool girl. A girl who does not the sweat the small stuff, but stands up for herself when it matters. It is a very attractive trait for a woman to have!
2. Love Is All You Need:
Sure when you first meet a guy, its all exciting for a while, your drunk on love and life is just eternal bliss, in a honeymoon period. But it is foolish for woman to think that this should last forever in a relationship.
Unfortunately life can be a right pain in the backside. People can do things by mistake that hurt you, or down right annoy you.
Sadly though a lot of woman believe that a relationship with a man should always remain in eternal bliss, like during the initial honeymoon period.
When this does not happen, they get upset and unhappy. They start resenting the man in the relationship, and feel like he is becoming distant and pulling away. This causes fights and arguments, and often can end relationships. The Unlock His Heart. covers a lot on this topic.
What a lot of woman fail to see, is underneath all of this is a true love. It is a mature love… a bond so to speak. They way love is shown changes as time goes by, as a man and wife join forces and take on the challenges in life together. True love is not all rainbows and sunshine every second of the day. True love is supporting each other in the adventure of life!
These are two of many common misconceptions woman make about relationships. What every woman believe is different, and whilst these two examples may not apply to you, hopefully they will give you an idea as to how to look into your own beliefs when it comes to relationships.
Get My Ex BF Back – Regain His Attention
The emotional upset when you first break up with your boyfriend is very intense. These emotions often lead to crying, arguing and very often regrettable behavior. This is all very normal!…You just need to think before you act, and take some time for your emotions to settle.
When you first broke up, your initial reaction may have been to want your boyfriend back again. This can often be caused by the shock of the whole situation, and the strong emotions you are feeling. But after having let your emotions settle down again, you may still be asking how to get my ex bf back again.
You may still love your boyfriend, you may have over reacted and broken up with him, and have realized you made a mistake. This is perfectly normal, and you are not the first woman to want to know how to get your ex boyfriend back.
Before you embark on a method to try and get your ex back, you need to first ask yourself this:
Should The Relationship Be Salvaged?
It is easy to have your common sense fooled by overwhelming emotions. Some relationships just should not be saved. You need to ask yourself if the relationship has run its course? Are the two of you suited to each other? Or would you truly be happier seeing other people?
If you decide that you still would like to get your ex bf back, then the first step of the process is to regain his attention. Without his attention, nothing will work!
So where do we begin?
- Stop and think for a while. I know we have discussed this earlier in the article, but you really need to stop and let the situation and your emotions cool for a while. This is because every time you see or communicate with your ex boyfriend, your emotions will override you and control your actions. This will most likely cause you to push him further away.
- Focus on you! Get to the gym, really work on your social life, and immerse yourself in your hobbies. This will put you in a good frame of mind, but more importantly your new energy and the new look fun you, will grab your ex boyfriends attention. Making big positive changes in your life, is the most powerful way to gain the attention of an ex lover.
- When it comes time to talking with your ex about getting back together, make sure the focus is on rebuilding the relationship, as opposed to starting from where you left off. The relationship will be doomed to fail again otherwise. It also gives the two of you the chance to work things out and apologize for mistakes made. This will most certainly gain the attention of your ex boyfriend.
Above all else when it comes to any break up, it is extremely important for you to focus on yourself. You must always remember that you do not rely on this relationship, or anybody else in order to be happy. Focus on yourself and the rest will follow.
Why Men Pull Away – The Number One Reason
Trying to understand why men pull away can be a very frustrating exercise. You think everything is going well with the relationship, then all of a sudden out of nowhere, he is acting distant….. Leaving you wondering what to do!
Having more questions than answers during uncomfortable periods of your life can be upsetting. No doubt you will have thoughts running through your mind that sound similar to this:
How could he be so into me one day, then literally not interested at all the next?
He keeps saying that he loves me, but he doesn’t act like it?
I feel like he is hiding something!
Take comfort in the fact that you are not alone in having these worries. All we need to do is understand what is causing him to behave this way.
Past Relationship Issues:
Did he have a particularly harsh break up with another woman who decided to leave him? ‘
A bad break up in the past can cause an irrational fear of rejection in a man. This could very well be the the reason behind why he is pulling away.
Your man will be acting distant because he is either consciously or subconsciously trying to protect himself from being hurt, should you reject him in any way.
This can be incredibly upsetting for you. You spent all this time getting to know him, and for some woman figuring out how to become his girlfriend, yet he won’t let you get near enough to express your love for him.
His Relationship With His Parents:
It is very possible that he may suffer from abandonment issues as a result of his parents actions.
This will manifest itself with him acting distant in your relationship. He will have a fear that you too, or anybody for that matter will abandon him.
So he will naturally distance himself from you emotionally in order to protect himself from getting hurt.
It may take a little digging to find out if this is truly the answer for your man. But more often than not it is. He may not even know himself. But these sorts of issues are often why men have a big fear of commitment.
So What Can You Do?
Do not pressure him or nag at him about how he is behaving.
Instead let him know that you are not going anywhere, and that you will always be by his side. This will allow him to slowly build up the confidence and trust in you. He will begin to understand that you are truly on his side, and you two can grow closer and closer together.
The Latest In Women’s Relationship Advice
The Latest In Women’s Relationship Advice
How has the usual dating and relationship advice, that you read in magazines or see on television shows worked out for you in the past?
Here is a video of advice that I am sure you have heard many times before, but is the complete wrong thing to do.
- You never feel attractive or hot enough as a women.
- You feel like you are not good enough in bed.
- It seems like you have to play games to get a man to commit to you.
- Becoming pushy and manipulative is the only way to get what you want with a man.
- You need to turn yourself into somebody that you are not.
- Giving your man an ultimatum seems like the only answer.
Doesn’t all of that sound horrible?….Sadly this is what the majority of all relationship advice has been telling you! How has that worked out for you? Are you unhappy still? Despite all this, is your man still acting distant?
Whenever you read those magazines at the grocery store check out, or take note of anything that comes from Hollywood, you are constantly made to feel that you are not good looking enough. You are always being told that you need to have a certain female celebrities body, and this is the diet you need to use to get it. By having that body, you will have any man you desire, and only when you have that body can you be happy….How crazy does that sound!
What about the “follow these 10 sex tips to make your man go crazy in bed” articles. There seems to be an endless supply of this type of stuff, when you look at the covers on the magazine rack. Deep down all they are saying is, you will not keep your man, or he will not be interested unless you are unbelievable in bed.
Have you ever been told to make him jealous by dating other men, or pretending to be too busy to see him in order to make him more interested in you? That is sadly very common advice for women, and it is just one of many petty games that only serve to push most men further away.
How about being pushy and manipulative? What about giving your man an ultimatum to change, or you are going to leave? I bet most women have followed that advice at some stage. Most of the time it would have made you feel like a nasty person, and like you are nagging him. You may even have pushed too far or he has called your bluff, and you have lost the man you love. Sadly most women fall into this trap all too often.
How uncomfortable and unhappy are you when you have to become somebody that you are not in your relationship? Arn’t the happiest relationships the ones where you can be yourself, and be loved for who you truly are?
As I said above, this is usually what you are made to feel, and the situations that you are left with when you follow the hyped up relationship advice, that is only there to sell magazines or build television ratings.
Out With The Old And In With The New:
The good news is this. In the last 12-18 months there has been a huge push by certified relationship counselors and relationship gurus to improve the advice available to women.
The focus is to understand a man and how is mind works when it comes to commitment and relationships.
Nadine teaches woman how not to go into “control” mode when they feel their man has become the slightest bit distant. This behavior tends to push him further away. She follows this up with a template on how to act and subtly draw him closer.
How about intimacy? Did you know that men actually desire intimacy in a relationship more than a women does? This is all explained in the Unlock His Heart Course.
Do you know how a man creates a strong emotional connection in a relationship? As Nadine explains it is completely opposite to how a women does, hence why things can often go wrong in the dating phase, and feel like the man does not want to commit.
T.W.Jackson with his course called Girl Gets Ring is another example. T.W. really goes into how not to get pushy and manipulative with a man. He truly focuses on how to be yourself and not become somebody that you are not when trying to get a man to commit.
Both of these products give you and insight into how the male mind works. They debunk some of the myths around men and their attitude to relationships. This type of advice is incredibly powerful, as it gives a template to find the man of your dreams, and take the relationship all the way through to marriage!
Don’t be trapped with the old advice that only makes matters worse, not to mention makes you unhappy. Remember most of those things you have been taught over the years, have only been published to sell magazines or gain T.V. Ratings!
Mixing Self Help With Everyday Life
Thankfully I don’t just chase theories and never put them into action. You know, the all theory not enough action a scenario.
I really enjoy reading a new book or method on self improvement, and giving it a try for a while. I then pop my head up and look at the results.
Following that, I take what resonates with me, ditch the rest and move forward to the next book or program. Its a bit of a hobby, and a passion. But the bonus has been that I have truly created some tangible benefits in my life.
I am constantly growing and I really enjoy that.
I have always danced around the Law of Attraction for years. I am not a devout follower, I am more of a fan of the practical aspects it invokes in people.
Taking The “Out There” Out Of The Law of Attraction:
This very much depends on whose version you follow, but what I like about it is this…
It requires you to set a specific goal and Visualize it. I have found the program Mind Movies very useful for doing that. If you are interested, check out this Mind Movies review.
You then think positively about that goal. Now initially that is going to be very hard, as you will have all these doubting thoughts.
However I use those doubting thoughts as an indicator of my fears. And it i my fears that stop me taking action towards my goals.
So I examine those negative thoughts, see what it is that I am truly afraid of, and work on dissolving that fear. Generally you will end up laughing at what it was you were truly afraid of.
As I keep doing this and more and more of my fears dissolve, naturally my thoughts about my goal become more and more positive.
I then find myself taking massive action towards my goal. With no fear, just pure and direct action. It is almost like I am on autopilot.
And you know what, the journey to my goal, generally turns out to be more fun than the goal itself.
So in my opinion, the Law of Attraction is very useful in a practical sense. You don’t need to take any notice of the spiritual aspect that is taught with it.
Just make use of the practical aspects of it. it is like anything in life really … If you sit on the couch wishing for a million dollars to appear it never will.
But it you set the goal, get past your fears and work hard and effectively for it, then you may just be in with a chance!
But hey if there is something more spiritual to it, and a universe helping you out, then I am all for that too!
That is how I incorporate self help into my life. It has been fantastic, and I have learnt a hell of a lot about myself. I don’t know where the journey will continue to, but hey, that is all the fun!
Getting Financially Set Up For Retirement
In the last wee while I have had finances on my mind.
Things are going well, I have a good business, and my income is more the adequate to suit my needs in life.
But as much as I love what I do, I don’t want to be working for the rest of my life.
So just like anybody else, I have been putting money away for my retirement. I have been slowly diversifying in various investments.
But something has been annoying me. It is all very well putting money into various places etc. But they main thing you need to worry about is protecting your buying power.
I look at the current economic situation like this..
The nation is in trillions of dollars in debt. We seem to have a Government who simply wants to spend and spend. Or should I rephrase that as tax and spend!
The are trying to spend their way out of debt, and they are also pumping money into schemes and policies that are financially appalling and destructive.
They also have absolutely no fear of firing up the printing presses.
So we combine all of this together, and we have a weak dollar, a share market that is all over the place, and ever increasing inflation at alarming rates.
And if you haven’t worked it out yet, it is the inflation that is the killer. It is the inflation that is the greatest threat to you living a comfortable retirement.
We also have the Euro crisis to compound the problem!
Is Gold The Answer?
Well history does not lie. If you look through the history books from just recently, to however far you desire to go. Precious Metals has been the stand out performer.
Gold in particular is the main performer. But the price of gold has always been relatively reliable, and it always booms in times of economic uncertainty.
So how popular is Gold at the moment? … It turns out very!
Governments around the world can’t buy gold fast enough. The same goes for wealthy individuals.
I thought OK, maybe it is just for those who are super wealthy and investment whizzes.
It turns out I was wrong again!
These every mum and dad investor is putting some of their portfolio into gold.
The popular thing to do appears to be setting up a Gold Retirement Account.
This is in the form of a Gold Backed IRA. And it turns out, there are many specially registered companies that will set you up with a Gold IRA Account. They can even rollover a traditional IRA for you.
I have been doing my research, sought the advice of several independent investment advisers, and I think I may just test the waters.
The price of Gold took a breather in 2013, but it appears to be starting another run in 2014, so I better get in quick!